Pete “Bait and Switch” Buttigieg (or, ‘Another one bites the dust’)

You can pick you nose, or you can just pick Pete.

On June 16, 2019, racist South Bend, Indiana police officers, under Mayor Buttigieg, shot an African American resident, Eric Jack Logan. Sergeant Ryan O’Neill (not the ancient star of Peyton Place) shot Logan with his body cam turned off, according to him, and Officer Aaron Knepper, as we know from records now, intentionally delayed transporting Logan to the Emergency Room after he was shot. Logan died, and after Buttigieg was confronted with the racist history of both officers, he sat on his hands, claiming he had no power over the the case.

Eric Jack Logan

Not true, because he has the legal power to fire police. For example, in April Mayor Pete had fired Daryll Boykins, the African American Police Chief, for marching in a parade protesting the killing of Trayvon Martin by the loony racist vigilante George Zimmerman. Buttigieg fired Boykins with “encouragement” from a bloc of white supremacist South Bend cops (later exposed when their emails were outed).

Pete has approximately a snowball’s chance in hell of winning the Democratic Primary. Black voters will treat him like they would a copperhead under a rock, even as clueless upper-crust white liberals continue to fan his meager little flame. I’m not writing this to undercut his chances. He has none. Zilch. Zero. Ningún. Néant.

I don’t share this for a purpose; I share it for fun.

People having fun

I just need a break from the Capital Hill soap opera.

It’s all about entertainment, yeah, but you have to admit — even the best entertainment can get stale. There is a certain primitive joy in novelty for novelty’s sake. So I’m grateful today to Mayor Pete aka Black-People-Will-Love-Me Pete for his latest directorial masterpiece, now showing in the American Political Multiplex.

We open with a plan. Liz Warren, check you six, here come’s the boy wonder. The “Frederick Douglass Plan for Black America.”

When Pete’s campaign unveiled this masterpiece, aimed at the South Carolina Primary, his campaign announced that it has “400 black South Carolinians” as endorsers, including some very prominent figures in South Carolina politics. On November 15, 2019, Ryan Grim of The Intercept published showing a few problems with this claim.

“What were those problems?” you may ask.

Well, let’s start with the fact that Grim could only confirm 297 “signatories” of the “more than 400,” and 62 percent of them turned out to be . . . (shhhh — white people). Okay, that’s kinda bad. I’m imagining the Sanders campaign doing this, and the media ramifications.

But, dear readers, there is more. As entertainment, Pete is the gift that keeps on giving. Of those who signed, including the transmogrified white folks, several were not South Carolinians at all . . . one lived in São Paulo. That’s in Brazil. Another country. In South America.

The endorsement of The Plan, of course, is meant to serve Mayor Pete in South Carolina (where Hillary Clinton once went to die) by doubling as a tacit endorsement of Mayor Pete. Okay, that’s kind of ethically sketchy, but . . . politics . . . right?

When called, however, the three “prominent” endorsers — Columbia City Councilwoman Tameika Devine, Baptist pastor and state Rep. Ivory Thigpen, and Johnnie Cordero, chair of the state party’s Black Caucus — said (I’m paraphrasing), “We didn’t endorse shit.” Rev/Rep. Thigpen, it should be noted, is actually the co-chair of South Carolina Bernie 2020. So there’s that, too.

One might think this is the end — climax, resolution, denouement. One would be wrong. There’s more, and the next act is . . . methodology.

How were the “endorsements” acquired?

By email. That’s what I said. Email.

Pete’s campaign emailed “400” black-not-black people with the plan and asked for endorsement. (I personally have about 13 trillion unanswered emails.) No phone call, no interviews, no nuthin.

In that email, the campaign was already claiming “400 black South Carolinians” had signed on, as encouragement one might surmise. It was a bald faced lie, but an encouraging bald faced lie.

Perhaps Pete can distance himself from his campaign as easily as he distanced himself from responsibility for his KKK-South Bend cops. So we’re done now . . . not.

Yes, this just keeps getting better.

In these solicitation emails there was an “opt-out” option (is that redundant?). One could — provided one answered the email and provided one read the email carefully, including the fine print — opt out of endorsing the plan.

Let’s go hypothetical. FukUover Insurance Company sends me junk mail that contains a plan that says, “We will remove you from our rolls if you opt out.”

I don’t open this crap, I throw it in the compost. No obligation, right?

What if . . . just what if . . . I suddenly find that FukUover Insurance is taking payments out of my bank account? What if they assume failure to opt out on a form I threw on top of kitchen waste is tantamount to joining up?

Batshit, right? Perhaps, but they did it anyway.

Mayor Pete’s campaign did a FukUover Insurance scam. If anyone they solicited through email without follow up calls did not reply to the email with an opt-out box checked, Pete & Co. went ahead and listed them as endorsers.

There’s your surprise ending.

It is also an obituary for the Buttigieg campaign.

CNN and MSNBC might fawn over this opportunistic, self-important, multilingual charlatan. Hope springs eternal among the retainer class. But Pete . . . is toast.

There is an epilogue.

In the literature for the Douglass Plan, there was a stock photo . . . from Kenya.

Seeya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

Author of the books “Hideous Dream,” “Full Spectrum Disorder,” “Borderline,” “Mammon’s Ecology,” “Tough Gynes,” and “Smitten Gate.”